MY TOP 10 OF 2011

I thought this was a fantastic year in cinema, filled with some of our best directors (Miike, Spielberg, Scorsese) taking a moment to look back at cinema as a whole while embracing their new cutting edge box of tools.

It was also a year of new and new-ish directors (Jee-Woon Kim, Winding Refn, Cornish, Durkin, Mills, Alfredson) putting up some amazing work and cementing my butt in a seat for every film they ever release.

Overall I found it a very satisfying and inspiring season of film. Also, I was super super high on heroin for most of it so what the fuck do I know.

And now, Instead of starting with my usual Top 10 Worst Films of 2011, I thought I'd try something new. So, here are:

10 FILMS I DIDN'T SEE BUT WHOSE TITLES ALONE ANNOYED ME

10. We Bought a Zoo -- We bought a Metaphor.

9. The 5th Quarter -- Literally doesn't make sense.

8. Water for Elephants -- Hush up now.

7. Mars Needs Moms -- They were super bummed they couldn't find the triple alliteration. How about Mars Mars Moms?

6. I Don't Know How She Does It -- I do. Pills. And plenty of 'em.

5. Snow Flower and the Secret Fan -- Shhhhh, you're literally yelling at me.

4. Mr. Popper's Penguins -- More alliteration for children! Children love alliteration. That's just science, y'all.

3. Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer -- Ironically, this title on every bus in L.A bummed me out for most of the summer.

2. Just Go With It -- So this is where we are? Okay. My next movie is called, "Shut up, it's Fine."

1. Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked -- I see what you did there. What do you mean why am I holding a knife?

And now on to:

MY TOP TEN FILMS OF 2011

10. The Descendants – Probably hit me harder than most considering certain personal issues taking place in my life, but I doubt I would love it any less at another time in my life. Alexander Payne just speaks to me. I love everything he does.

9. War Horse – If you deride this film for being schmaltzy or manipulative then, to put it bluntly, you sound like a fucking moron. You, quite literally, missed the point. Spielberg is like Walter in Breaking Bad. Yes, he makes meth. But he makes the fucking blue meth that no one else can make. And as long as you’re not an addict, there’s no shame in recognizing that it’s one of the most beautiful highs around.

8. Fast Five/Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol – It’s cheating I know, but these films were the EXACT same experience for me. Just pure popcorn escapism made by directors with some serious action chops. Laughing, clapping, cheering, mouth agape – sometimes cinema can do that.

7. Rise of the Planet of the Apes – I have a soft spot for animals in film (as you’ll see later on in this list), so this film had me at Apes. But fuck me – it’s also a simply fantastic film. I’m a big Apes franchise fan and I’m still shocked that I got an origin story that COMPLETELY satisfies me and even exceeded my wildest expectations. I’m probably more excited about where this franchise could go than by any other at the moment.

6. Beginners – Just pure passion and absurdity and creativity. This is the experience I imagine Amelie was for many, but never really was for me. This is one of those leave-the-theater-feeling-alive-and-ready-for-change films. Those are great.

5. Martha Marcy May Marlene – Hands down the most profound film of the year for me, and one that has continued to haunt me for months. The final shot of this film: the face of a young woman after being pulled back and forth between warring ideologies… until she simply submits, exhausted, to whatever ideological prison awaits her next.

4. Attack the Block – Oh, hello Joe Cornish. Yes, I’ll be seeing all of your films forever. Kthxbye.

3. Drive – The most inspiring “fresh blood” film of the year. The film that 2011 will be remembered for. Just about as much fun, beauty and playfulness (on the part of the director) as we can hope for in one film. You knew he knew how good it was.

2. I Saw the Devil – This hit me hard in a similar way to how Enter the Void hit me hard last year. Just a director taking a big fucking swing for the fences, taking the classical theme of the thin line between hero and psychopath and doing something very profound with it. Also, my favorite score of the year.

1. 13 Assassins – Technically this was a 2010 release, but I saw it in the theaters in 2011 and so therefore it’s a 2011 film for me. Just a staggering film. It’s as if Miike got sick of people thinking he was just “that weird” director – the Japanese Lynch, and whatnot – and made a straight up classically shot Samurai/Western film that would hold it’s own against anything by Kurosawa or Hawks. Sort of like Lynch’s The Straight Story, but if The Straight Story was a massive epic. I imagine Miike saying: “There, look. I can do that. And better than anyone else alive probably. Now fuck off, I’m going back to movies about women that birth cows.”

Honorable Mention: Hugo 3D, Tree of Life, Win Win, Take Shelter, Young Adult, Tintin, Contagion, Bill Cunningham New York, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy – I have a feeling this will end up being very high on the list after multiple views, but I just haven’t been able to see it again yet.

That's all for 2011. Hopefully I'll write on this blog more than once this coming year. ONLY TIME WILL TELL. AM I RIGHT?!?!